A Few Truly Random Short Musings...

• IRONY - Yesterday I spent a very long time writing an extensive essay about rage. See, I'd noticed that while I used to pride myself on being a particularly cool-headed person, I have been really heating up over things more and more. I extensively guessed about the root of this change (a situation and person who have pushed me farther than usual earlier this year), and expounded specifically on some of the little things that really agitate me. I explored at length the effects that all the unchecked anger were having on me, and hypothesized a practice to vent and release. The entire work took me two hours to write, edit, and save, and was a fairly significant, polished tome by the time I finished. I saved it to disk (on alternating days, I'm in a room here at the school whose PC isn't internet-capable) and brought it home to post... where I found, upon loading, that the file was corrupted and lost. Naturally, I was enraged. Only I can successfully enrage myself over losing a raging rant about how my own rage enrages me.
• MY PLACE IN MY WORLD TODAY - Today, I am experiencing a constant parade of students coming into my room. They're all seniors, and each time, I think, "Oh! Students I haven't seen in awhile! I wonder what they're coming for!" And each time they just want my keys to go into the costume attic and select pieces to use for an English class project with a colleague. Kind of pathetic, I know... but somehow it keeps disappointing me. *sniff sniff* I see how it is. No, wait, strike that... as I was typing this, Molly and Haley stopped by, and not for costumes. They needed me to sign sheets for CAS hours. That's what I am... a resource unlocking autograph machine...
• ENTROPY - My world is becoming far too entropic. My largest and most involved group of students are graduating and leaving in a few weeks... my last close bachelor friend is getting married... I just learned that two of my English teaching colleagues will be gone next year, one to a transfer and the other retiring... Things are breaking down, changing, moving on, and ending too fast to do enough building up and beginning to fill the voids. Is this what being old is? Yuck.
• FATE'S NON-SEQUITORS - I've noticed that, just to make absolutely certain that I don't ever feel totally secure, fate makes sure that very non-sequitorial Twilight Zone-esque things happen in my life. Yesterday's contribution: I arrived at my classroom and heard what sounded like a circular saw in the direction of the back hallway. I ventured into that hallway (behind the auditorium), where I now revised my assessment of the noise to that of a "raging waterfall", and tracked it to the locked men's room. I investigated and found that, apparently completely on its own, the men's room toilet decided this weekend to begin flushing and not stop. The quantity of water also seemed slightly amended, perhaps to a tune of about four or five times the usual volume of a regular flush, and instead flying through the bowl in a constant stream. Weird. So, now I have no bathroom at work.
• DODOS - Today, there is an annual health exhibit going on in the auditorium lobby. To me, this means one thing: a day of students who otherwise I am saved from being exposed to having a reason to venture down into my wing (the event is set up in the auditorium lobby) and further erode my belief in the intrinsic good of humankind. Are they that bad? The majority, no... but a select few, ones that usually never come down to the performing arts wing and from whom I am therefore usually insulated, are real pieces of work. Case in point: as I sit here in the pit of the auditorium typing this entry, some random fool ducked into the main door of the auditorium and threw, as hard as he could, a couple empty plastic bottles and empty snack food bags into the seating area, and then, dashed back out. Something is very, deeply wrong with people like that.
• POINTLESS AUTHORSHIP - Isn't it incredible, the sheer quantity of people out here with websites writing pages and pages of text, explorations of all the areas their heart leads them... and I'm fairly certain that the vast majority of us are writing for an audience of barely a handful. I virtually did cartwheels when a student actually posted a comment on one of my other blogs, an online callboard for the school theatre group... prior to that comment, my last evidence of anyone actually reading any of my blogs was some person with severely divergent political beliefs to myself wasting his own time writing angry rebuttals to some of my old posts about the absurdity of the "War Against Christmas" nonsense and a hint (and just a hint, mind you) about my opinion of the current U.S. president. I think it would be safe to say that I'm writing this without an audience, and it is unlikely to suddenly spawn an audience after it is written, too. It feels a little like a variation on a famous axiom... "If a blogger types in the internet and there is no-one around to read it, does it make a difference?" And yet, I'm still typing... you know, I just don't get me sometimes.